Anxiety & depression phases:

Anxiety and depression are two of the hardest things to live with. Anyone with it understands. Anyone who does not have to worry with these problems normally respond with, "It's all in your head." It's not. It never is. It's so easy to overlook someone with anxiety because some people hide it so well with a smile and laughter, but it is not easy for any of us who suffer with it. If you have it, you know exactly what I am talking about. You know how the responses are so hard when someone asks what it is like because sometimes it just can't be put into words. It's not something fun to live with. If you actually live with anxiety, you know the agitated feeling within your stomach that builds when someone says, "Oh my gosh! I have anxiety too!" after you finally open up. But, you know deep down their anxiety isn't the same as the one you are talking about. Their's is the simple anxiety everyone has throughout their life. Their's isn't the anxiety that stops you from socializing. Their's isn't the anxiety that makes you lay in bed everyday because the thought of talking to someone worries you. Their's isn't the anxiety that literally keeps you from stopping to get food when you're starving because you're too scared to bother someone. The depression phases are horrible too. They're the phases that make you want to quit your job or drop out of college because the thought of leaving your bed makes you want to cry more. The worst part is, you have no idea why you are overwhelmed with the feeling of sadness. The anxiety and depression phases are the worst when you force yourself to go out and socialize but the whole time you aren't involved because you want to leave with everything in you, but you don't want to be the "rude" person to just leave an event. The worst part, to me, is the crying. The part where you are sitting in bed or even public and bust out in tears and all you can say is, "I don't know why I am crying. I don't know what is wrong with me." How do you explain what is wrong with you? How? You are so overwhelmed by everything that happens within a regular day. How do you explain you're crying because you aren't alone? You want to lay in bed and cry everything out alone because your anxiety keeps you from wanting to talk to anyone, and you're depression keeps you from wanting to see anyone. People with anxiety aren't the "crazy people" or the "weirdos" everyone seems to talk about. For the sake of mankind DO NOT tell us "it's in your head." It makes it worse because then we feel like the size of an ant because we feel like we should get it together and push through it... when we can't. All we can do is wait for the phase to pass..

THE MOST IMPORTANT PART TO KNOW IS:

Everyone deals with anxiety and depression differently. Some people control it and handle it alone but are able to socialize normally (even when they don't want to). Others choose to just stay in bed and not socialize until the depression phase or anxiety attack has passed. We have NO control over our minds. We really don't. Our minds can be a dangerous place and anyone with anxiety and depression knows this with their whole heart. Most of us are such pessimistic people because we only look at the bad outcomes because our anxiety is in the back of our heads telling us all the horrible things we don't need to hear. We feel like we turn everything on ourselves because we are so unhappy with our lives that we think we do not deserve to be where we are at the moment. So please, bare with us. We are going through enough as it is. Let us be alone. Let us cry. Let us deal with it how we see fit, and do not tell us we can control it because I promise, we can't.