here’s to 2019.
- brittleighhh
- Jan 3, 2019
- 2 min read
so. 2017 & 2018 didn’t seem to be my years. let’s explain.
in 2017, I started my sophomore year of college. I decided not to play softball anymore, but two wleeks in & I knew I wanted to be back. I got involved with someone who was super toxic to my life, but I disregarded that completely. I ignored everyone’s advice and went about my year. I kept the same thing going until things declined, but I still avoided & ignored everything. I mean, who wants to listen to all the right people anyways?
in 2018. welp. same guy. same toxic people. same Brittany. who cares right? I was having fun. well, it escalated & I always avoided the signs thrown at me. I got further & further from the God I needed in my life. I mean, once again, I was having fun. I lost great friendships because of it. I gained enemies from it. so much toxic entered my life. Then, I met someone new, I moved on. everything was going great, but then it wasn’t anymore. my anxiety and depression got bad. I ended things I had no intentions of ending. I let the toxic person come back. which made things between the new guy horrible. that’s when I realized how bad I was doing in life again. I hit a depression phase. BAD. I cried everyday for almost two months. I stopped eating. I stopped interacting. I stopped being the Brittany I needed to be. I had so many regrets. I took a break from social media. I got a relationship with God again. I picked myself back up & moved on from everyone I had to move on from... but, being happy didn‘t seem to last long. I went back to the toxic. I made a joke of myself. consistently. I got away from God again. I got back to my old, unhappy ways. I went back to depression phases. I was sick to my stomach always. my anxiety got bad again. horrible anxiety. horrible depression. but, I finally made a decision to better myself again.
so. here’s to 2019. moving on. releasing the toxic. bettering myself again. working on my depression & anxiety. being happy. letting go of a sloppy lifestyle because it was “me having fun.” and finally, getting my relationship with God stronger than ever. working on that relationship before I work on another & when i meet the right person, working on our relationship through God. here’s to 2019. here’s to self improvement. here’s to better relationships. here’s to avoiding as much toxic as possible. here’s to me for once. 💕
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